How Notre Dame’s Niele Ivey learned to find balance in her life and in coaching

SOUTH BEND, Ind. — If you didn’t know any better, Niele Ivey could’ve been at a party, casually leaning against a wall. The Notre Dame coach took a sip of water, tucked her hair behind her ears and nonchalantly crossed her arms. She could’ve been chatting about the weather or the housing market, quoting corny movie lines to an old friend.

In reality, the ACC title was on the line. Notre Dame’s All-America point guard, now at the end of the bench with her leg wrapped hip to ankle in gauze, had suffered a right knee injury earlier in the game. Without Olivia Miles, Ivey was down to eight available players, one of whom was a 17-year-old forward who, if she hadn’t left high school early, would’ve maybe been thinking about a calculus exam or prom plans instead. Less than a minute remained in the road game, and the Fighting Irish clung to a three-point lead against surging Louisville. Five feet to Ivey’s right, Sonia Citron had five seconds to pass the ball inbounds.

And there was Ivey, almost smiling.

But this is where she always has felt most at ease, on a basketball court leading a team. As a kid, it was the familiar walls and scratched up courts at the St. Louis YMCA or Boys and Girls Club. In high school, it was anytime she was between the thick red sidelines at…